What are the right kinds of people?

There’s different kinds of people that you should invite. First of all, if you just think somebody is super interesting and you really feel like you like them, that is a good opportunity. Everybody wants friends. And sometimes the more prestigious you are, the less people are like, you know, “you seem really cool, and I think that we’re working on similar things. Maybe I’m not as experienced as you, but I’d love to just talk about my work and hear about your work sometime”. And you can just be really upfront, “I don’t have some particular agenda. I just think you’re super cool”. And who doesn’t want to hear that? Even if they’re too busy, they’ll probably be polite to you and say, “listen, I’m really busy”. Now, one thing also to notice is that the older people get, the less obligated they feel to give you a reason why they say no. When you’re young, you feel like, “oh, I’m sorry, I’m busy, you know, my profession…”. As you get older, you just say, “no, I.. no, I don’t have lunch with people unless there’s some good reason”. But sometimes you just say, no. So, don’t be insulted. That’s just older people don’t care what you think as much. It is just how we get. As we get older, we don’t care what people think as much. So, be less insulted by those people; just know that. And the more senior you are, and the more people who are asking for your time, the more your answer will just be “no”, or not an answer at all. Because you don’t have time to answer emails. A lot of people aren’t even answering their emails themselves. They have an assistant, or something like that, answering their emails. Don’t get insulted. One is, if you just think they’re really cool and you’re working on similar things, those are some of the best meetings; if you’re extremely determined to meet them, because you know what you want. The best people that I’ve ever hired are people who don’t have enough experience, and I said no to; and they said, “listen, I’m really interested in getting into that field. Would you just have coffee with me when you’re in town?” Or “I’ll come to you and have coffee.” They’ve said, “I’ll come to you”. It’s like, all right, you know what? This is where I’ll be, you can come. And when I’ve hired those people, they’ve been the absolute best people that I’ve hired. Because their attitude was, I don’t care who says “no”; I don’t care what the barriers are. I’m going to be the best I can in this profession. Just absolute best people I’ve ever hired. So if you really think that you need to meet this person, because this is going to move you forward, be a little more insistent. Don’t be obnoxious, but I don’t think most women have that problem. It’s the opposite problem. And then, like I said, it should be very clear to you. I always write down, “okay, what?” or at least think in my head, “what are three really great outcomes that might happen?” And if you can think of one outcome, that could be really great for you and for them. I don’t need to tell you who to be. It’s just that people don’t tend to think in terms of outcomes, but if you’re thinking in terms of outcomes, that’s good. Now the second part of how I deal with this sensation that some people are superior and some people are inferior. This is a part of the human mind. Our human mind always has people who’re inferior or superior. Also in any given situation, you either feel like you’ve got a good deal or a bad deal. So you always feel like people are superior, inferior, superior, inferior. It’s part of our minds working. So that’s the first thing to know. You are a human. And if you have the thought, “he or she is superior to me”, it is a sign that you are a human being. That’s all a sign of. It’s really a practice. So one of the things that I’ve done also at networking events is going with a friend. And I’ll bring a friend with me and I’ll say, “listen, I know I need to meet that speaker and I’m going to chicken out”. And then your friend be like, “you’re not going to chicken out”. And , you know, my friend and I had a friend, Elena, we would just go and she pushed me to go talk to the speaker. In INSEAD, which is (I’m sure you know who INSEAD is), it’s one of the big MBA schools here in France. And they actually take that. That’s actually part of their program. It’s that they have you go up to the speaker at the end. They push you to practice going up to the speaker at the end of a thing. So, it becomes a habit. And that’s just one of the things; it needs to become a habit for you, but you can practice it. You can practice it by, for no good reason, going up and talking to the speaker after a presentation.