Transcript
Everyone is different in terms of why they are procrastinating. But really, simply I always say that it’s one of those things that it erodes trust in yourself and undermines yourself. Because if you are saying, “I want to achieve something”, and then you keep not following through on that; whether it’s in a day or a week or a month, and you’re consistently doing that, then, how much can you trust yourself? Because it’s like with anybody; someone who’s making you promises that you’re going to meet, or they’re going to call you, or you’re going to do a project together, but then they keep not showing up. Then after a while, even after a couple of times, you’re not going to trust them to follow through on that. And, I’ll say, with procrastination, it’s the same, except that it’s that relationship that you have with yourself. And, coming back to that piece of… if you don’t feel confident, if you’re not taking action, then again, you’re not trusting yourself.
One of these examples that I often give with procrastination, it was a client that I worked with early on; and it was just such a strong… or such an extreme case, that it was really hard to forget. Because she was one of those… she was working as a writer in an agency. She had more than 10 years of experience, ‘was really amazing at what she did. And then… but she found herself getting these panic attacks; and she would get promoted at work, and every time she got promoted because she was… you know, her boss would recognize how good she was. It would just be this extreme reaction…. And after a while, she thought, you know, this is a sign that I need to quit and start my own business! I wanted to start my business for years. I’ve always had an excuse. This is the time. And so,she did that. But then, at the same time, found out that she still was bumping up against this resistance. And so, she would look out, go and find a space that she could rent. And then she would just let it go and not do anything about it.
And so, when we ended up working together, she ended up finding out that it was traced back to this experience in her childhood, where she had this situation, where they did a group project at school and she did something like colouring a sunflower purple. And the teacher yelled at her and said, “look, that’s wrong. You can’t do that. Sunflowers are meant to be yellow.” And so, for her, in [at] that moment, her eight-year-old self-made this decision: I’m never going to stand out again. Because everyone looked at her and she felt such a shame, it was really an embarrassing moment. And so, that was something that may be served to that eight-year-old self to try and keep her safe. But, as she grew up, she forgot about it. But then it was still one of those unconscious beliefs that kept operating for her.
And so, I always say, with procrastination, it’s really one of those things to uncover what it is that is for you personally. If you don’t know what it is and you can’t see it, it’s still going to be affecting your behaviour. And you can do all the techniques that you want, but if that thing is stronger, then you’re not going to be able to move forward and come in back to confidence. You’re just going to feel, again… it sort of ends up being that downward spiral of, I’m feeling shame about myself, or the negative self-talk starts going on. Because you’re sitting there saying, “Well, I keep putting this thing on my to-do list. I’m not doing it. Well, I’m a failure. I’m really not good at this. Maybe I’m not meant to be doing this particular line of work. I should just give up.” Or, you’ll just be spinning your wheels for years and trying to do it. But just being feeling really bad and keep tapping into that sense of failure because you’re not actually moving forward.
It’s really simple. I always take this in and out approach, in terms of figuring out what is it that is causing you to procrastinate. Because it’s really personal and individual to everybody. And so that’s why we have these great techniques, like in a sitting time is to do your particular tasks or doing a journal or… sort of the night before saying, “okay, what are the top three things that I’m going to get done?” And all of those are really great practical tools. But, if unconsciously there is something that’s holding you back, it doesn’t matter how great those tools are. You’re not going to follow through.
So I would say step one is always just to figure out, what is it? And so if it’s, you know, it could be something that’s really simple. Like, I need to do admin. work… I find it really boring. I don’t want to do it. And then you can recognize, okay, but it’s important. I’m going to talk myself into it. I know if I get it done…, the sooner, the better…; and do it. Or, you can say, it’s not my kind of thing. I’m going to outsource it. That’s another option that I have. But if it’s something else, like this girl that wanted to start her own business and was just going out finding studios, but then not following through… then it’s really important or critical, I would say, to figure out what is your particular personal brand of procrastination? What is it that is holding you back specifically? And then you can start to work with that. So, it’s always really that dynamic or that exchange between inner work and then making a plan. Figuring out, why am I procrastinating? But then also, what is that thing that’s going to drive me forward?
When you set goals. I discovered this awhile ago that I was always taught to look at goals, you know, when I first started my business, in terms of, how much money do I need to make each month and reverse engineer? And for me, it wasn’t motivating. It would be like, “I can say, okay, I’d love to earn 5,000 a month and start there”. But it never drove me forward. But then when I thought, “oh! I would like to connect with maybe five people each month”, even though the number was the same to me, it was like, “okay, I can connect with five women. I can actually help them change their lives and do something…”. That was something that really motivated me. And so. really having that goal or that vision of, what is it important to you? Why are you starting this business? What do you actually want to impact? What impact do you want to make in the world? And recognizing that, yes, we started out businesses for ourselves, but it’s not just about us. It’s also for the people that we serve. And what is that thing that is actually going to drive you forward, and in a way bigger than the procrastination?
So, it’s two main things. Why is it that you’re procrastinating for you personally? Then, from there, you can actually take the action-steps and personalize it. What makes sense for you? And then also keeping your eye on that greater vision that’s actually going to move you forward.