Transcript
Asking for help, especially for a lot of women is not easy to do. We have the image of ourselves that we need to do everything ourselves. A woman today needs to do everything in the household, like putting nails on the walls. But we are all humans. We have limitations, we cannot know everything and we cannot do everything. Acknowledging these limitations is actually a really confident way to live. It’s really clever to learn to divide into stuff that you are really keen about doing and stuff you really don’t like and start to ask for help because it will encourage your relationship with yourself and it will encourage the relationship you have with others. Every time you let somebody in your life and this person has a lot to help you, it will strengthen your relationship.
Asking for help or helping another person is a really intimate moment and you might know this may be where you just help randomly woman with her child getting up the stairs and this small act of help will give you a certain kind of connection. If you do it in your family, if you do it in your friendships, it will encourage your relationships, it will make them deeper and more meaningful.
It’s a really confident act to say: “I don’t know this or I cannot do this or maybe I don’t want to do this. Please help me”. If you start practising it, if it’s hard for you, it’s totally fine. But you can start today asking a person for help and then you can do it again and again, and then it will become a habit and you can see how your life is going to change.
Reason number one is I guess in social media and media, there’s a picture spread of women of how we should be today. We need to be good or even perfect in so many areas of our life. You should be really critical about these pictures. A lot of successful people on Instagram, they have a bunch of people behind them helping them to do what they do. But when we start our businesses, we are normally a one-man show or a one-woman show. So it’s really important to know that: who am I comparing myself and what are their circumstances and what are my circumstances?
The second point, a lot of women want to do everything alone because they want to control everything. If I do the laundry, for example, or if I do the cleaning or if I do something in my business, then I know it’s the way I wanted to be. If I would ask for help, maybe the other person would do it wrong. So I better do it myself. Ask yourself, what does control mean to me? Do I want to have everything perfect and the way I wanted to have? So if it’s like this, then you can try to get more loose, to relax more, and to try how it feels to let another person do something. And, don’t try to be perfect. Nobody’s perfect.
The third, it’s like a thought you might have in your mind: “Nobody can do it the way I want it to be”. So if you have this thought in your mind, of course, you would not ask for help, because if you think that you are the only person who can do it the right way, then you will never let somebody help you.
The fourth point is a fear of being a burden to somebody. If I ask for help, I owe this person something. Check-in on your mindset. What is going on? What tape are you playing in your head? And is it really helping yourself? Or is it blocking yourself?
And the fifth one. I think a huge value for us that we want to have in our lives is being independent. Sometimes there’s this thought: “Ok, I don’t need nobody. I’m good at myself. I don’t want to be dependent on a man. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone”. When you’re in this position or with this mindset, then it’s also hard to ask for help. So basically, check-in with yourself and ask yourself: Do I want to change my mindset or am I happy with my life or not?