Transcript
So when we were talking about that cycle of creation, as you said, it’s the input, the meaning that we’re creating from a scenario that is the source of that. And they can fall into a number of categories, so they can be either limiting beliefs. So, these really hard stuff that we have developed from early childhood or events that are life or whenever we have been discriminated in some way, we start to create beliefs about ourselves. Now, at the very core of these could be, I’m not good enough. I don’t know enough. People are out to get me. I know it can be all kinds of these sort of limiting beliefs that we tell ourselves they feed into the meaning that we make. There are also stored emotions from the past. So if we’ve had a very traumatic incident and everybody has different levels of trauma, it could be a really bad grade on something or an unexpected bad piece of feedback.
It doesn’t have to be a trauma in the sense of, you know, sexual trauma or something. It can be these day to day things that are quite, you know, we feel them in our body, we feel an impact having a miscarriage that was quite traumatic for me. And you know, if you think about that event and it still brings up emotion for you, it’s a stored emotion. You still feel that thing years on, or months later. Now, then, we would need to do some work to let go of these beliefs and emotions, to move beyond them. And that is the realm of coaching to be able to do that peace. There are also values that feed into your meaning. You know, this sort of unconscious blueprint for how we live our lives. So things that we spend time, energy, and money on will feed into the meanings that we make.
And if we have these sneaky subconscious values of things like approval, then they will show up in the way that we behave as well. So, it might look like looking over emails really, really carefully before you click send, sort of rereading them. It can take a lot of time with sneaky values like approval or security or safety. Some of these ones can really trip us up in our life. Then, the other thing that feeds into the meaning that we make is our body. So as women at different times in our cycle, we can create a very different meaning to other times in our cycle. And also how inflow we are with the things that we’re doing. How much are we using our natural talents and capabilities to do the thing that we’re doing. We can feel very inflow or we can feel very out of flow for different activities. They all feed into this meaning-making machine that creates moods like guilt and creates actions and the next steps that we take.
First of all, we have to look at that piece on the meaning, those limiting beliefs, and emotions and do a piece of work like a layer of an onion. We need to take off one layer at a time and move beyond it. That would be through coaching techniques and NLP, neuro-linguistic programming tools that I can use to help with that, or other coaches can do that. But there is a piece of emotion. So if you’re feeling guilt in the moment, how do we actually let go of that thing? So there are a few different ways. The first is to change your state to actually go from, if you’re sitting at the desk, go out, go outside, go for a walk, change your state, be active in your body.
Go, you know, do some exercise. Really getting out at a cellular level because we can really hold emotions in our body. A great one that is very current right now with COVID. If you’re feeling fear, we can literally shake it out, shake it out from the fingertips all the way through my arms, all the way through a body, and actually release that adrenaline. I’m a bit like a bunny rabbit would literally shake itself off after the fight or flight response from a fox coming to get it. And then it would shake it out and eat a piece of grass afterwards. You know, they can recover quite quickly. And a great thing we do in our house are dance parties. And so, the kids all get involved and we all have a good dance at the end of the day to really let go of everything and get back into our bodies because we spend so much time in our heads overthinking that getting in our bodies is a great way to process emotions.
Planning is a great tool and an of itself, you know, if you show up and there’s a plan and there’s a really defined set of things you need to or want to achieve in a day, you’re more likely to achieve those things. However, I also think that we need to have flexibility, particularly as women because I know that I’m not a machine. It’s not about productivity. You know what we input, we get the same output every day. So if I show up one day and I have a defined set of things, the next day, I can complete the same set of things again. Well, that’s not true because I can show up any day, and depend on where I am in my cycle, this can really impact me. So I think we also need to work more flexibly and in tune with our own energy and our own needs on a particular day. So yes, planning can help, but we also need to be aware that we can’t push through if we’ve not topped up those energy levels to start with.
